The truth about the holidays after loss
The holidays are supposed to be joyful. After loss, they can feel unbearable.
The empty chair at the table. The traditions that sting. The noise and the plans and the people ~ when you don't have the energy for any of it.
And then there's the fog. You forget things. Your thoughts scatter. You're tired in a way sleep doesn't fix, and simple tasks feel impossible.
That isn't weakness. Grief hijacks the brain ~ and the holidays ask more of it than any other time of year.
The strong woman costume
The first holiday season after David died was awful. I had two young children, and I wanted to keep the magic alive for them. We’re Buddhist, so we celebrated Children’s Day on the solstice. Then came Christmas Eve with David’s parents, and Christmas Day at my parents’ house.
I put on a joyful face. I wore the strong woman costume. Inside, I felt completely flat.
I was lying — to my kids, to myself. When David died, I’d promised myself no big decisions for at least two years. That spring, I bought a house in Vermont. I knew I was crossing a line I had drawn.
What I needed that winter was someone to say: Sit down. Let’s talk. I know it’s hard.
What it is
Holiday Reset is an 8-week guided program, November 16 through January 10, for anyone grieving through the holiday season.
Each Monday, you’ll receive:
- A short guided practice, 5–7 minutes. It’s one mindfulness breathing practice, deepened week by week, so it’s there when you need it most.
- A downloadable worksheet with reflections and tools.
Over the eight weeks, you’ll build a ritual of your own — one that sits alongside the holidays you already keep, and one you can carry long after this season ends.
You’ll also be invited to two live Q&A sessions with me, on Saturday, November 21 and Saturday, December 19. Come with questions, or just listen.
This isn’t about moving on. It’s about finding calm in the season you’re actually living — while honoring what you’ve lost, and yourself.
Who it's for
Holiday Reset is for you if:
You're grieving a death, a divorce, a diagnosiss, or another loss that changed your life.
You're holding the holidays together for someone else ~ your kids, your parents, your family or friends ~ while you feel empty inside.
The holidays feel overwhelming, lonely, or unbearable.
You're living with brain fog, exhaustion, or grief surges that come out of nowhere.
You want tools simple enough to use in the middle of the holidays and its gatherings.
You want to honor what you've lost and still find moments of peace.
The eight weeks
Understand in detail on what is planned under each module
What you'll carry forward
By January, you'll have:
A breathing practice you can reach for at the table, in the workplace, or in the middle of the night.
A way to notice when you're about to make a big decision from inside the costume.
A way to prepare for gatherings, traditions, and holiday stress.
A ritual of your own, made with intention, to keep for years to come.
A gentler way into the new year, and the knowledge that you weren't alone in it.
How it works
Each Monday, an email brings you that week’s practice and worksheet. Listen whenever you can, on your own schedule. Everything stays in your workshop space on thewidowdoula.com, so you can come back to it anytime.
This program is gentle and flexible. It’s built for real life in grief.
Who I am
I’m Therese Marchitelli. My husband David died suddenly in 1995. I’ve hit the dead ends. I’ve been blindsided. I’ve made mistakes and learned from them. Now I walk with others through the years that follow a loss.
I’ve practiced meditation since 1975. My teacher was Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and the breathing practice at the heart of Holiday Reset comes from his instruction.
I’m a NeuroGrief & Loss Coach and Trainer, the founder of The Grief Literacy Project, and the author of What Not To Do When Your Husband Dies, winner of a Gold Nautilus Book Award.
Questions
Still have a question? Don t hesitate to reach out!
Yes. Each practice is 5–7 minutes. Each worksheet takes about 10. It’s designed for people who are already overwhelmed.
You can’t. Move at your own pace and revisit anything, anytime.
You’ll get every week that’s already been released, and the rest will arrive each Monday. Begin with Week 1, or start with the week that fits where you are right now.
No. I started with widows. After my book came out, people with every kind of loss found me, so I opened my work to all of them. Holiday Reset is for anyone grieving.
No. It’s a guided program built on neuroscience and mindfulness. I’ve practiced meditation since 1975, and these are the tools I use myself and teach.
Imagine this
Walking into a gathering with calm instead of dread. Creating one ritual that feels meaningful instead of painful. Finding a moment of clarity even when the fog is heavy. Reaching January with more compassion for yourself, and tools you’ll keep using.
Join us
We begin Monday, November 16. You can join anytime until December 14, and you’ll get every week that’s already opened, so you can start where you are.
You don’t have to go through this season alone. I’ll walk with you.
Your investment $108.
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